10 Things I Care About More Than Whether Or Not The Toronto Maple Leafs Salute The Crowd

  1. Phil Kessel’s favorite gum flavor

    Mint? Sugar free? Juicy Fruit? I don’t give a shit.

  2. The genetic makeup of toenails

    Gross.

  3. Fashion Trends Boys Hate

    *middle finger emoji*

  4. Whether it’s pronounced “care-a-mel” or “car-mal”

    I prefer dulce de leche.

  5. Hearing about my Uncle Larry’s trip to Thailand for the 600th time

    WE GET IT, LARRY. YOU HAD A GREAT TIME AND IT BROADENED YOUR CUISINE PALATE. NOBODY CARES THAT YOU “REALLY HAD YOUR EYES OPENED TO A DIFFERENT WAY OF LIFE.”

  6. The color of the shower mat in Obama’s bathroom

    It’s probably an American flag, but if it isn’t, I don’t care.

  7. What happened after the last episode of Phil of the Future

    Did he get back to the past???? Will he and Keely be 2gether 4ever? The world will never know, and we’ve all moved on from that pain.

  8. That one math problem about two trains going in opposite directions

    BUY A SCHEDULE. CHECK THE INTERNET. ASK AN ATTENDANT.

  9. Sponsored Tumblr posts

    You’re never getting my money.

  10. The entirety of M Night Shamyalan’s body of work after Signs

    ????????????????????????

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.

*